They Grinned When The Waiter Spoke To Me By John Caples

They Laughed When I Sat Down At the Piano But When I Started to Play!

"Can he really play?" a girl whispered, "He never played a note in his life."

ARTHUR had just played "The Rosary." The room rang with applause. I decided that this would be a dramatic moment for me to make my debut. To the amusement of all my friends, I strode confidently over to the piano and sat down. "Jack is up to his old tricks," somebody chuckled. The crowd laughed. They were all certain that I couldn't play a single note. "Can he really play?" I heard a girl whisper to Arthur. "Heavens, no!" Arthur exclaimed. "He never played a note in all his life. But just you watch him. This is going to be good." I decided to make the most of the situation. With mock dignity I drew out a silk handkerchief and lightly dusted off the piano keys. Then I rose and gave the yawning piano stool an arrogant turn, just as I had seen an imitator of Paderewski do in a vaudeville sketch. "What do you think of his execution?" called a voice from the rear. "We're in favor of it!" came back the answer, and the crowd rocked with laughter.

A Complete Triumph As the last note of the Liebestraume died away, the room burst into a tumult of applause. Friends rushed forward to congratulate me. I had made them realize that I was not only a musician, but a master of the piano. "How in the world did you do it?" they exclaimed. "You never took a music lesson in your life, and yet you play like a Paderewski!" "I have never seen you touch a piano," said one, "and yet you were wonderful!" "Just a short while ago you couldn't play a note." "Quit your kidding," laughed Arthur, "and come clean. How long have you been studying for this special night?" "I have been studying only a short while," I replied, "and that only when it was convenient. But I can play the whole of..." "You must have heard of the U. S. School of Music," I explained. "Yes," my friends nodded, "that's a correspondence school, isn't it?" "Exactly," I replied, "they have simplified the study of music so that any instrument can be learned by mail."

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